Sunday, October 4, 2015

On Pumpkin Spice

(Cross-posted at Ricochet.)


I gave in to curiosity yesterday and got a pumpkin spice latte. I got it from McDonald’s, since my hometown doesn’t have a Dunkin Donuts or (despite being in Pennsylvania) a Wawa or Sheetz. 

In the words of Lisa Simpson after seeing the video “Bin Laden in a Blender”: “It delivers what it promises.” It tasted like a blend of pumpkin pie and coffee. As far as fall-related culinary items go, I’d rank it ahead of candy corn but behind apple cider. I’d get it again, but I don’t understand why hipsters go crazy and demand pumpkin spice everything starting halfway through August (then again, I don’t understand most of what hipsters do).
(I did see a recipe for pumpkin spice granola (via BuzzFeed), but I’m afraid if I eat that, I’ll automatically turn into a liberal.)

Now to the question we must ask about any new non-alcoholic drink: how do you make it boozy? (Keep in mind that I don’t have an unlimited budget for pumpkin spice lattes* and new forms of alcohol, so this is all speculation.) Vodka would probably be best here. Usually, my go-to spirit is whiskey, but I think that the whiskey might clash with the pumpkin flavor. Whiskey does go well with Coke, which is just as sweet, so we can’t rule it out completely. Rum is a possibility, but it might be a little too much sugar. Another possibility is replacing the coffee with Kahlua, but I don’t have enough experience with Kahlua to know how that would go.

*In addition to the financial hit, I have to consider the damage to my reputation from excessive pumpkin spice consumption. Consider this email exchange:

Notre Dame fan of my acquaintance: Saw you got a pumpkin spiced latte. Hope you didn’t spill any on your leggings and ugg boots…
Me: No, but it got all over my Clemson sweatshirt!

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