The recent pro-Trump "Jericho March" in Washington was derided in some circles for its advertising of MyPillow, complete with a promo code being given out during the event. However, product placements have a tendency to crop up at key moments throughout history, starting with what might be called the original Jericho March:
Jericho, 1400 BC:
Rahab: "Now therefore, I beg you, swear to me by the Lord, since I have shown you kindness, that you also will show kindness to my father’s house, and give me a true token, and spare my father, my mother, my brothers, my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death.”
Israelite spies: “Our lives for yours, if none of you tell this business of ours. And it shall be, when the Lord has given us the land, that we will deal kindly and truly with you, especially our friends at Jordan Valley Community College. Whether you're looking to take the next step in your career, enter an exciting new field like goat herding or frankincense trading, or narrowly escaping Divine wrath being poured out on your city, JVCC offers the degrees you need to get ahead in the fast-paced fourteenth century B.C. Lord knows the market for prostitutes in Canaan has been booming recently (literally, the Lord knows that; that's why we're here), but you never know..."
Rome, 67 AD:
St. Paul: "I was brought before you by the prompting of the Holy Spirit- and by the good folks at Rufus Punctilius Lugubrius travel agency. Whether you're looking to experience the bustling city life of Corinth or Antioch, or for a quiet escape to the beaches of Illyria or Crete, leave your next vacation, business trip, or missionary journey to RPL. They don't fiddle around..."
Nero: (scowls)
St. Paul: "Should I not have mentioned fiddling?"
Richmond, Va., 1775:
Patrick Henry: "Give me liberty, or give me death! But you're still free to choose deals to die for at McClanahan's, Virginia's first name in pewter since 1717- now offering fifty percent off all flagons, porringers, and tankards! Conveniently located in Alexandria, Richmond, Williamsburg, and now Yorktown! Present a scrap of parchment with the code PATRICK for special buy-two-get-two-free deals on candlesticks and access to my signature line of teapots."
Berlin, 1987:
Ronald Reagan: "Mr. Gorbachev, come to this gate.
"Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate.
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall and replace it with a stylish patio from Von Jaegermeister Home Landscaping. You might think such features as a gazebo, a koi pond, or a Zen garden are outside your price range, but with Von Jaegermeister, becoming the talk of your neighborhood or geopolitical bloc is closer than you think. Schedule your free consultation today, and don't forget to use code EVILEMPIRE for ten percent off all seeding purchases!"
No comments:
Post a Comment