(The following is apparently one of the earliest printed materials in English. It is undated, but from the events it refers to, it appears to be from the 1490s. Despite being over five hundred years old, it is surprisingly relevant to modern issues.)
I. On ye FRAUDE purported by ye KINGE of SPAYNE and ye LIES of "Christopher-Columbusse", ye KNAVE of Genoa in ye employe thereof.
Whereas "Christopher-Columbusse", a supposed Sea-Captaine in ye employe of ye Kinge of Spayne, hath endeavored to reache ye INDIES, by sailing westerly from the land of Spayne. But it is impossible to sail unto the Indies thereby, for ye EARTHE is FLATTE. Had ye "Captaine" traveled as far as he claimeth, he obvious-wise would have fallen offe ye Edge. Ye Flatte-Nesse of ye Earthe can be shown by divers Proofs, most persuasive of which is that I believe it to be Flatte, for it maketh me feel Smartte, and leadeth me to call they that disagree Globe-Tardes. If ye Earthe were not Flatte, I would be a mere Knave, who speaketh out of my Hind-Quarters about that which I know not, and that cannot be: therefore ye Earthe is Flatte.
Here the Simpleton sayeth, "Hath not Captaine Columbusse brought back 'Indians', who dwelleth in the Indies which he hath reached, and are they not of most extraordinary appearance, as is not seen in all Europe?" Thou fool. It is obviousse that said supposed Indians are mere Crisis-Actors recruited fromme ye less reputable Neighbor-Hoodes of Madrid. Do they not have the same swarthy appearance as the supposed Moors, who ye knavish Kinge of Spayne hath claimed to drive out of Granada even unto Africa? And have they not the same appearance as the Turke, whom ye Byzantines claim hath attacked CONSTANTINOPLE, an obviousse Inside-Jobbe?
II. On ye "House of Tudor" and ye COLLUSION with RUSSIA.
I have divers Proofs that ye "House of Tudor", which hath attained ye Throne of Englande in ye late Wars of ye Roses, by the defeat of ye late Kinge Richard ye Third, hath attained their supposed Victory by means of divers Collusions with YVAN YE TERRIBLE, Tyrante of Muscovy, who...
(Sadly, the pamphleteer was unable to finish before being hanged, drawn, and quartered, and the pamphlet was lost to history until recently.)
