Saturday, November 19, 2016

Overheard After the Election

"Hello, Best Western Inn & Suites Des Moines.  May I help you?"
"Your name please?"
"B-O-O-K-E-R.  Do you spell 'Cory' with an E?"
"One hundred rooms from June 1, 2019, to February 1, 2020.  That's a lot, but I'll do my best to accommodate you."
"Sir?  You're in luck.  We just had someone with the same order cancel on us, so we can just give you the rooms we reserved for him."
"How did you know his name was Marco?"


Subject: Re: WPP question


You were right that this raises a few questions.  I can't sign off on it without getting cleared by higher.  For one thing, putting the director of the FBI in the Witness Protection Program poses some obvious conflict-of-interest issues...


[Posted on the bulletin board of the Stor-U-Lot Warehouse near Hagerstown, Maryland]

For those of you interested in overtime- we just got word that corporate is going to be moving in shipments of gold paint and dictionaries of obscure Slavic languages to meet anticipated demand in DC.  We're also sending some of the Christmas inventory to Hazelton and Staunton, so there will be plenty of opportunities for extra hours.


"You've reached BankJobsPhilly, the number one job placement service for financial professionals in greater Philadelphia.  How may I help you?"
"I'm sorry to hear that we'll be losing your business.  May I ask if we did anything that failed to meet your expectations?"
"Oh, I'm glad to hear your job situation resolved!  Just let me know your name and I can close the account electronically."
"T-O-O-is that M as in Mike, or N as in November?-M-E-Y"


Re: Nukes for infidels?

How would I go about getting an exception to the "no nuclear parts for infidels" policy like Abdullah got for North Korea?  Just got off the phone with the Estonians, and they're making an offer I think we should consider...


Subject: Correspondents' Dinner?


So far, the meetings with Congress are going great.  Lots of eagerness from the Rs (even ones who weren't super helpful in the election) and the Ds are more open-minded than we thought.
One thing keeps coming up though- when does planning for the White House Correspondents' Dinner start?  A number of members in both parties offered to let the boss insult them in his speech.  I said I'd look into it.


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