ACT I: Il Donatio de Bezos
Goffredo Bezos, a book merchant who
has gotten rich through trade, is in Nuovo Iorco to announce a great gift to
benefit its people. Don Chucco, doge of
Nuovo Iorco, sings of Bezos’s generosity toward the city, and notes that he
has, at least temporarily, calmed the tension between the Cuomi, Deblasii, and
Ghillibrandi over which faction will lead the planned invasion of Nuovo
Ampscheria to oust Il Donaldo from the imperial throne.
A messenger arrives with news that
Alessandria, a onetime barmaid of Spanish origin, has overthrown Giuseppe
Crolio in the outlying region of Broncsia.
Don Chucco begins rebuking him for his impertinence, until Alessandria
shows up and denounces the festivities surrounding Bezos, alleging that the
noble families of Nuovo Iorco bribed Bezos to make his donation and that he
will bring ruin to the city (“Gentrificazione! Ipstertopia!
Rento thru il rufo! Mondo
trafico! Wipipo!”). Enraged, Lady Nancia, wife of Don Chucco,
orders Alessandria exiled to the island of Verde-Nuovo-Deale (“Che proposale vamo nowhere prestissimo!”). Don Chucco and Lady Nancia apologize
profusely to Bezos, who forgives them, but says he must depart for the land of
Nova.
ACT II: I Virgini
Bezos
arrives at La Cittia del Cristal in the land of Nova to make another
donation. He is met by Ralfo, a noble
Moor who has become king of the Virgini.
Ralfo sings of the previous billionari
who have ravaged his land: Il Donaldo, who recently closed the entire land
of Nova for three weeks as part of a campaign against the Messicani, and Il
Snidero, the worst of all, who destroyed the Redschini. After Ralfo’s lament, a messenger arrives
alleging that Ralfo is not in fact Moorish, but a member of the tribe of
Mediscuoli, who, as part of a barbaric ritual from the distant past, often
falsely pose as Moors.
A chorus of Virgini lament the fall
of Ralfo (“E buon, tu es un pediatrizione
e non dermatologio!”), but express hope that Don Fairfacco, next in line
for the throne, will unite the people.
Don Fairfacco is about to take the throne when the Lady Vanessa alleges
he has ravished her (“Mitu! Mitu!
Mitu!”). Flummoxed, the
Virgini offer the throne to Don Marco, only to find out that he has also posed
as a Moor. Ralfo, Fairfacco, and Marco
all fall on their swords. The Virgini
attempt to summon their ancient ruler, Giefferzone de Monticello, but even he
declines to take the throne (“E super
razialle problematico”).
With no other options, the Virgini
offer their kingdom to Bezos, who is about to accept when a messenger arrives
saying that the Dicopico, a forgotten but extremely powerful relic, is in the
hands of the Enquiereri, a barbarian tribe threatening to use it to overthrow
Bezos.
ACT III: La Battalle del Dicopico
The nobles of the empire are
gathered at a great feast, where the Patrioti are about to devour the flesh of
rams. Bezos arrives accompanied by the
troubadour Tomancso and begins singing an aria about the importance of his work
in the land of Nova and the neighboring land of Distritto (“Democracia morte in noche”), before denouncing the scoundrel
Peccherio, leader of the Enquiereri, for seeking to destroy him with the stolen
Dicopico. The assembled nobles begin
laughing as one at Peccherio’s name, breaking the power of the Dicopico.
At the moment of Bezos’s triumph, a
messenger from Nuovo Iorco arrives with the news that Alessandria’s power has
grown to the point where most of the Presidentabile
have made trips to the island of Verde-Nuovo-Deale, and she is once again
threatening his interests in the city.
Bezos, now king of the Virgini, determines that he will move his
donation from Nuovo Iorco to his new realm.